p.s,
in my thoughts & prayers for days prior and many many future days to come
teila(youre so brave baby!i admire you probably more than youll ever realize not only for packing up and leaving for europe & south africa for 3 months - but also jus for who you are, i always have.. since i can remember.. seriously since i was 4 or 5 i remember always looking up to you. so you can only imagine how much more i have planned for us now that were all grown up and im about to be a college student like youuu!! so hang in there honeybee and don get any worse, cus god knows youve already scared us bad enough. ill be sending you cards flowers or some kind of goodies soon so i can come visit, i know we never say it but i love you lady!! xoxxxxxxx)ps youre so beautiful aaah i cant even explainnn<3>
rene(i hesitate to even put into words how i feel when i see you in a situation so disappointing as you are one so undeserving of the pain. already having been through so much, it must have taught you something that you can take out of it or at least built your character somehow because you are one of the strongest, most dignified, clever, hilarious, loving, caring, talented, determined, selfless, HANDSOME, creative, intellectual, and exceptional human beings i am honored to call a friend. and none of that is exaggerated, as corny or cliche as it may seem. as i know how much you love your mom, and of course you do, but to an even more extraordinary level, its so painful to watch that whole world of yours slowly die to pieces even though youve taken care of her just as much if not more than she took care of you. just know - i hope you already know - that your family reaches beyond blood ties baby. dont think twice about asking for anything, yo know i already opened my home to you after youre on your own. oh how i love you rene! i so hope you come to santa cruz with us next year! you have so much potential and i cant wait to see you present it to the world :p hang in there sweet thing, youve done soooo much for her, probably more than anyone else could. i know her memory will continue to live on in your heart and in your soul. you are your mother's son ;) xoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)so honored to create her butterfly drawing!!)
whitney(it makes me so sad to see you so weak, i hope i can help somehow but i hope ten times more that youll find a way somewhere within you to cope and make improvements in order to build a happier healthy lifestyle. i want you to stand tall! i want you to have pride! i so love who you are, but i can understand how you have possibly gotten to this point through your selfless caring side of being such a good friend combined with your family home life not communicating in a healthy way and of course your spontanious wild party side including very little shame :p haha but of course it comes along with being a Bulmer ;) i jus hope you know its okay to make changes in your life consciously even if it means admitting personal flaws. and that i think itll make you happier in the long run to approach relationship issues head on even if it means giving in first and showing vulnerability for even jus a moment in order to say your sorry if it opens a window for you to save a friendship before its too late and you regret it and wish you wernt so stubborn. i think evaluating these things that are most important in your life and talking them over with your therapist and me and whoever is always here, and you know that, but i think it is only helpful if you reflect and remember what makes you unhappy in order to change habits. its hard i know but youre not alone :/ its a neverending process with the destination unknown.. or even if there is one. but i at least would like to see you enjoying yourself like i used to!!! and not only when youre drunk or stoned baby :) i hope you realize i only say this because i love and care about you sooo much. but sometimes you scare me and i dont know how to tell you these things youre doing that i think are huge mistakes :( stay strong love, youre worth so much more than you think you are! xoxoxoxooxoxoxooxxxxxxxxxxx)
like family
always there
ive never felt so close to unbloodrelated FAMILY
so real
ill never forget
in my thoughts and prayers hang in there i love you guys! (im not a freak, i jus cant bear to stand by while my loved ones suffer! ill help in any way i can! haha<3)
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