today dyl had everyone meet up to talk about the senior trip we wanna take this summer and it sounds amazinggggggggg. newport beach house two streets from the beach front that "sleeps 9" in beds but +couches/sleepingbags/snuggling etc., that means a lot more for us girls :)) we already have ten of us pretty much for sure going and 5 maybes. and hten of course were going to have visitors come for a day or two throughout the week im sure :)) i mean ten plus girls with a beach house to themselves on fourth of july weekend, who wouldnt wanna join?! :p haha im stoked i jus hope it all works out cus there are possible issues with $ cash monayy and guest list for some reason?? :/ even though the house is way cheep considering. only $3,000ish for 8 days.. and the more people that come, the less each person has to pitch in so i hope people dont bitch an moan cus it should be good. and we wanna do a universal food/alcohol/buddha fund to share throughout the week seeing as it should be a pretty open house 24/7 (ive never gotten to use that term so literally!haha) not to mention the beach and downtown should be going off. according to dyl therell be a solid amount of open house parties, college guys & people are age around since its in the middle of summer. so mmm yeaaah theres yet another inspiration for me to be at my best for the rest of this year and future :) i gotta lot to look forward tooooo idk if im anxious or reluctant or jus stoked haha i guess its bittersweet because i know all of these events like the senior trip with the girls, graduation, grad night, prom, senior picnic, end of the year parties and my high school career coming to a close jus further emphasizes that im finishing a chapter in my life.. :x idk. i mean this chapter has been the best! the most entertaining, fun, insightful, self improving, self motivating, comfortable, happiest- you name it!- its been the best time of my life up till now, and it took me a while to get here, im not so sure im ready to give it up quite yet!! haha i know its inevitable of course and yeah im excited for the rest of my life to begin, especially as an individual unattached to parents/family/friends/teams jus me making the calls.. but thats liek the scariest part of it too! i feel as though ive jus now begun establishing myself as a person ive come to love or at the very least BELiEVE in.. so what happens when im taken out of this enviornment and stuck in a foreign atmosphere left to make it on my own? its captivating in theory of course. jus thinking about it gives me a like head rush. my biggest dilemma is possibly not that im goign to be homesick or miss my friends and family so much(cus thats a given, i will no doubt!!) but even more so: that i loose sight of myself and struggle in a foreign college beach town hundreds of miles from home sweet home in fucking NORTHERN california. ugh norcal "hellaaaa" ahha. anyways ill get over it and work on growing into it. llike i said, i believe in myself i guess im jus sad! i gotta milk what i have left of my high school career before it passes me by!!!
aaand theres no way im gunna enjoy doing that if im a lil fatty haha. gotta keep it up an stay stronggg with the best of em <3
cw;120 (!!!)
gw1;118
gw2;116
ugw;115
day #4}
intake;
-jus water and tea so farrrrr
outtake;
-my bag hurt my shoulder all day today!! i hope my backs not all screwed up now cus of my ridiculously heavy book bag :/ i wanna go to that cheep massage place this weekend! ugh thatd feel so incredible
sins;
-three? idk a couple :/ blah cmon idk.. basically yesterday i thought it over in my head and i thought if i had to do something that i felt guilty about, id rather it be smoking than binging ha. it would jus suck if i quit i feel like id want something to put in my mouth whwen im bored or whateverrr .. eh bad habits :/ live with good KARMA! :)
----> 8 good so far, i jus wanna keep stable before i slip an slide back down the hill again.. ugh. but i wont let that happen! i gotta repeat myself in order to remind myself constantly that ive never before had so many reasons to do this and feel good about myself, physically mentally academically socially etcetc haha
that being said, i gotta get a lot of work done if i wanna go out with the girls or daniel tonight!!! im gunna do this forsure xoxxxoxxxx
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