productive-ness

so this weekend my dad helped me put together my gold frame bulletin board and its goooorgeous. it even looks better with pictures all over it too :) i love it a lot. now i cant wait to get my crown molding up and shelves so i can feel completed ha. unfinished projects give me anxiety thinking about em :/ then i have to make a list haha. im a list maker, a pile creator, its what i do when im anxious. 

but other than work and sleep this weekend was fairly uneven

tful and relaxing, jus tryign to take it slow for a while, stay on the down low ha. i was being really strong until i heard oren had

 another party on friday that the girls went to and said it was way good :/ i immediately got way sad and then thought wtf why do i feel s

o desperate, yea

h it woudla been fun but i mean cmon theres a million parties jus like that, besides i don wanna be dependent on fucking parties to be happy and/or enjoy life. thats pathetic and thats exactly the definition of a burn out. i hate to admit it but i actually do notice feelign different after being completel

y sober for a couple weeks, it feels good. i kinda binged over teh weekend and i was up 129 again, but last night i d

id a lot better and toady i havnt had anythign yet :) i jus hope my ridiculous headache doesnt come back from last night and im goign to the gym soon so i hope i don binge 

after that :(. but going to the gym i wanna go back to basics and stick with cardio for now. htats what i was doign in preparation for homecoming and then i added a few arm/ab weights which is good but i have to loose the pounds before i work on gettign toned. cus i feel like if i toned up right now it

 would take my fat and turn it into muscle or something haha :/ idk. i read somehting recently on

 gwen stafani and how she works so hard to stay stick thin. she said as rigerous as the work out is, the idea is simple: you have to burn more cal

ories than you take in. wellll if you take in less, then you burn more, am i right?? YAY ANA! stick with it :) todays a good day so far

, up an down in the begining but over al

l i would love to keep this healthy mentality goin

g. i felt guilty after goign to the mall today but the things i bought were out of my own hard earned cash and i realized, hey i guess i shouldnt feel

 guilty ahha. i mean id love to save my money, but i still have

 300

 bucks to do that with :) from now on though, every 

pay check or allowance i get i will save 50% of it, put it in a jar in my room. this way, ill be able to afford something big when it comes up. 

these are my recent buys :) some online, some today at the mall. stokeeddd