why do i feel like im riding a merry-go-round stuck on repeat, theres no detours and no stopping breaks or chances to get of the ride.. he takes me for a spin every fucking time. talking to a "sun" i feel like.. although i hate to be so critical when theres so much i jus want him to simply hear. just for a minute jus fucking heeeear me, hear how much i love him how much i care how much i appreciate all that he does hear how fucking sorry i am hear that ITS NOT ALL OF WHO I AM im better...
it tears me apart,
trying so hard to do good and show affection, appreciation, and gratitude ..while still living my life? is that so awful? am i so overly selfish? i mean i so wish i wasnt.. i want to really work on being more grateful, have more self-disciplin, be more selfless.. but i like to think of myself at least not being a fucking "sun".. a person who thinks theyre the center of the universe..
i hear him downstairs still rambling on in his own personal lecture spoken jus to hear his own voice talk..
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